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Young at Heart I remember being young When time seemed slow. A summer lasted forever and I had nowhere to go. Now time is faster! The young are older and the old are dead... I should have been bolder. T.W. Nosh |
Heaven and Hell on Earth Does heaven or hell exist? I think not... Am I good? I think so... Am I bad? I think not... When I try to think Nothing happens! Life is my reward and punishment. T.W. Nosh |
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Thoughts -Life is hard; giving up is easy. Suiside is a cowards way out; dying is easy -Never be in a rush to poop -Most of the time, check your poop for proper formation, unless, of course, its obvious (eg diarrhea) -Pooping amount almost matches food intake. To loose weight: small amount to no food 2-3' before sleep & after waking up -Learn from your spouse, but remember you're independent -If you spend your whole life looking for a soul mate, you may either never getting married or end up with a life mate -Gluten is good -Skeptic questions everything, but I say anything is possible. Am I gullible? -In many ways, we know each other better than we know ourselves; we want it that way, but don't necessarily like everything we see/find out. It's good to let each other know that we're discovering each other. -Selfishness Spurs creative thinking -Sometimes I wish I was a synthetic (or synth from Humans series) or walker (from Walking Dead series), but most of the time I feel lucky -Communicate/talk with, listen to & understand your spouse -Joint exercises -There is a saying "a little bit of knowledge can be dangerous", I may be a hypochondriac... -Rubbing eyes can cause poor vision -Interplanetary space travel using magnetic & gravitational forces, same as (south or north) magnets repel 1 another -2d world can't see 3d world, 3d world can't see 4d. Living in a material world. -life/soul partner/mate, a person with whom one is in a long-term monogamous relationship, "their dancing has changed since they have become life partners", A life partner or life companion is a romantic or otherwise very close friend for life. The partners can be of the same or opposite sexes, married or unmarried, life partners with platonic relationships are a common theme in serious and popular literature -As we both grow older, accept lifestyle changes; grow up! -When I was a young boy, my religious upbringing compelled me to confess my sins monthly. The only sin I could think of was impure thoughts. I remember being conflicted because it was a sin to think about what seemed to be natural sexual animalistic type thoughts/urges. I now realize/believe these "impure thoughts" are not sins as long as they remain as just thoughts. -6/12/17 had a fight; we both screamed & cried. I used to think that we were good for each other; being 2 very different people from seemingly different backgrounds. But now we hurt each other more frequently without intending to or even realizing it. At least we have something to show for or efforts: Joey. We then went to Malibu Creek State Park; drove to beach & took a walk near Santa Monica pier. -I me mine, be less selfish ----Should spouses (Joey/Alina) share secrets (grand/parents)? -Stents: I didn't want dad to brag he’d outlived me -My pills, anti-suicide pills -Brush hair regularly to get oils to the ends -I am only half; spouse is the other half. The best half? -Even when you're doing nothing, you're body is doing something -Patience is a virtue -Dreams are like wishes, anything can happen. It's up to you; mind over body -A kiss->maybe a chance to dream... -Love to dream; dream to love, -(-> can lead to) -If you die from over drinking, you may be called stupid. -Some people comit suicide. -If you die from a heart attack it's an act of God/Allah/nature/etc.:-( -If you really knew me you wouldn't like me. You really do know me & don't seem to like me. -I am not worthy to be your soul mate; I hope I can be your life partner. -Pretend to make marital love -I love life & live to love -Kona chocolate coffee & Chocolate beans |
More Thoughts -human intelligence is measured by humans -humans also measure animal's intelligence -nature is intelligent, including rocks -pets make good companions -some pets are smarter than others (including humans) -machines (including computers) can be smarter than humans -Can computers (or gadgets) make good companions? -discussing politics or religion can lead to arguing -discussing can lead to cussing |
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i love you i love you a lot, let me count. i love you: 1) morning noon and night; all day 2) when you work or play. 3) before and after you shower... 4) and brush your teeth. 5) when you drive with me in the car 6) when we go shopping. 7) before and after we sleep; 8) when we watch tv and eat... i could count all day, and say it many ways- but one thing is certain: i love you a lot! t.w. nosh p.s: work in progress |
Memories (Keep Notes backup) As a family, we went to Hemet to see Ramona outdoor pageant Dad taking us three boys to Tujunga canyon wash. We ran wild but Dad got very angry and wound up yelling and then eventually slapping everybody as he found us when we returned Me injured in garage door malfunction incident, dad sent me through lower crack Hedgehog visited us while we slept outside in sleeping bags in Germany Using vinegar and baking soda for a rocket like action I think it was Emil that made a science project to show how tornadoes are formed My. Interest in & research of the digestive system to the point of wanting to do a science project Ken Zysk sold me a Datson for $1,000 As the kid: dad angerily cutting my finger nails (ouch), dad in a nursing home asking me to cut his nails Perry the flying squirrel and my life size model of a squirrel Visiting john in the hospital for his broken arm, he got to have ice cream everyday John finding nine sticks of dynamite in the vacant lot across from Pigly Wigly, Tujunga Riding in Emil's $19 first car, an old Pontiac with exhaust coming through the floor boards, to St Francis. He hid the car a block away to avoid our parents knowing that he had it Sheriff John and soupy sales with White fang and black tooth Sneaking up the alley on hellindale so Emil could drive us to St Francis with his $19 Plymouth, which had smoke coming through the firewall Dad: I wonder how the poor people are doing? Mom: [we're better off than] the starving kids in India John falling out of tree and losing his breath Digging a hole to China with John in the anal, dad turning it into a trash hole My father asking "how are your bowel movements?" Dad teaching us how to shower, soap suds to come cover your body like a white man Uncle Tony saying he hopes Governor Wallace will be elected to be president because he'll keep those damn niggars in their place Nelson air conditioning company Emil didn't like runny eggs Me correcting Mr Wong who was also the football coach St Francis principal cutting Mark Barkowitz's long hair Emil telling me about Father Michael's squats at St Francis high School Dad saying "I wonder how the poor people are doing" Altar boy/wine Coaxing spiders out of their web homes Apple eworld before AOL Tree stump removal with car & chain I made a plywood car dashboard Killing bird with pellet gun Secretly squirting Wolfgang (friend of Gerhard with Emil) with Mike after he became drunk from beer festival in Germany Killing A bird Dad slapping the 3 boys in big Tujunga wash Eating/sucking on sourgrass As kids, my parents would take my brother's & me to the east coast to stay with some of my relatives. I have two distinct memories that were told to us about what happened during World War 2. The first story was from a guy called Red Morrow. He was married to one of my father's cousins, Adrian Morrow. He had fond memories of being in a tank & going through towns they had taken over from the Germans. They would take off the edge of buildings going around the corner instead of just turning left or right. The other guy didn't like talking about his memories because he was a flamethrower who killed a lot of people. I think he was my father's sister (Mary's) husband. As kids, we would coax him to talk about his memories. He carried a pack on his back that had the fuel in it and a long rod that shot the fire out. He would burn people to death. Flamethrowers were very valuable because they could do a lot a lot of damage. I am what I am & that's all that I am John found 9 sticks of nitroglycerin dynamite, Emil & I? "Light 1, you still have 8 left", John: "no" & told parents, FBI came? to investigate Grandma Schrom, Hillhaven, Tujunga 10641 Helendale Ave, Tujunga, CA, our house from ~1956-1966 Special nut picking tool, Mom? Best to be at back of airline crash Father (severe)>mother for discipline, but knowing punishment coming a deterrent Songs associated with memories 1 is the Loneliest Number by 3 Dog Night I Feel Free by Cream Singing Alto in the choir in grade school, Christmas pageant, drummer boy song Modifying (amplifying) organ to play in band With John (looked wierd?) in E St. Louis, only I ate castor beans, got sick & vomited, went to hospital? Bellarmine Jefferson high school, military Catholic coed, Mike Parent Altar boy, choir Father Michael, Mr. Wong, Jesuits at St. Francis High La Canada Iberian language with Chris Van Buren & Betty, John John telling me about mistake in Louie Louie song The Thinker statue Making swords out of metal strips for sword fighting, dangerous Recorder with Emil & John, Emil? Would make up skits Science fair exhibit: hurricane, Emil? Accidents, wanted more attention from Mom John: John Hale, Courtland Vargas? & The Looking Glass band, befriended younger brother Friday 13th, chauffeur, lucky to be above the ground Dream/sleep walking, furniture crawling, parents: what are you doing? Go back to bed Intervention at Vickie Predmore's house. Vickie Graul's crush. Steve Olds (washed cars at father's business, Oldsmobile? dealership), gay Steve (Helen "moldy rags" liked him). Ran for senior class president at VHS while using crutches from motorcycle accident. My 1968 motorcycle accident on Rick Sewell's Honda 350. John's girlfriend's (Ann) mother hit my left side; license plate tore off my ankle. Fire hydrant broke my fall & right collar bone. Dad wanted part of $20,000 settlement; got full amount when I turned 18 & bought a new 1972 Chevy Blazer with removable fiberglass top. Replaced in line 6 with a 350? V8 engine. John's friends: Courtland Varga, rich Hollywood hills "Looking Glass" band. John played bass guitar. I became friends with his younger brother. John Hale, I thought he was wierd. Rich? girlfriend Deborah. Tujunga Helendale neighbors: Jimmy, JoAnn & Diane Emanuel. Jimmy molesting Diane; JoAnn sexually flirting with John. Sandra & Marsha (next door), John exposing nakedness to Marsha through open window. 180# makes good trash compactor, dad Almost dying after mixing chemicals in swimming pool shed David Nelson running away from Blazer Yvonne cut wrist on bare wagon wheel East St. Louis tornado, dad showing us the devastation Dad: cut my fingers x2; mad when cutting finger nails Dad: bread & graveyard - poor man's steak Forgotten at Bob’s Big Boy, started to walk home, only had a nickel, waitress called home, even mom didn't miss me! I forgot about leaving Ed in Germany Green hats for ID in Europe Bats flying at night Low gears-brakes, dad, engine to slow down Vickie Predmore (confronted me), Vickie Graul (crush on me), ran into orange groves Life with Stefanie Miszczanczuk Joey most important to raise Saved my life (CPR), Emanuel pulled me out of water, after I electrocuted myself assembling roof over doughboy pool with electric drill/screwdriver 1st date: walk on Santa Monica beach (Serra club) to Oar House Party with Stefanie, dancing; I left? Catching lizards, snakes, scorpions, spiders,etc with David & Jackie Nelson whose mother would freak out Hang gliding with???, friend of Greg Worthley? (lived with him & his girlfriend, Bill? & His girlfriend, Charlene), 1972? Trip towards S America with TJ (Terrance Williams, left in Mexico) in Chevy Blazer (1st purchased car) Cross country trips with Emil, John & Rick Sewell; then Ken Zisk in Datsun, which I bought from him for ($1,100?) Rick Sewell, who lived in back house in Monrovia, married Ronda Hannah 3 trees camp with dad, Emil, John, me & Jimmy (Balky?), John? cried & ran after dad, who threatened to leave us because of our behavior Launching rockets from cow paddies with Steve, John & (Lee?) Schrom, our (Emil, John & me) cross country trip squirrely the plastic squirrel living in Germany, triplex, next to Danish family-Lotta, Dotta & Mikel, dog hannibal (great dane) POP roller coaster 6 times, won free trip from new paper route subscribers, most new customers Keep arms & legs in the boat game on bed with covers Confession once a month-impure thoughts was all I'd confess most of the time Stimulate memories from 1 word Stefanie giggling at my trimmed moustache-misinterpreted laugh Impure thoughts-sin to confess? Dad-said Pati with smiley face x2 from Pati Duke show; twins played by same actress (B&W tv) 1st color TV, 1950s, dad liked technology Holding hands with Leonard Belanger Soupy sales John falling out of tree in Tujunga; we were like monkeys John ran a bit faster than me Father influential europe via urail pass-travel at noc, different country each day cool water, dads record, singing along with record, still remembers song Clean white soap-shower Uncle Tony: governor Wallace will put those damn Niger's in their place spike jones records our recordings; emil liked cowboy games, wanted dead or alive (steve mcqueen), paladin, john wayne tv shows/westerns sleeping mats in kindergartin its howdy duty time drop sugar bags from restaurants from top of eiffel tower bugs in bread from cheap hotel in spain catching salamanders in bomb craters in germany crooked kinks in trees from bomb fragments rats as big as cats at dumping place in black forest found old knife in trash heap-Rusted, John still has? brain uses most blood flow, heart second earliest-charleston; dad yelling about bugs crawling on walls-dream? mom’s birthday May 10 (sometimes same as mother's day), close to mine, liked me best, bonded dad, keep limbs in boat-bed/blanket Dad, approached by gay on plane, said you can't procreate traveling is educational gin & vermouth, 1st drunk time, slept on patio-mom! gin & tonic, maya made; liked 1959 ford station wagon-cross country trip with emil, john & ric sewell rear axel vibration, ‘59 Ford, Dad obsessed? tujunga; 3 bedrooms & 9 kids e st louis, illinois farmland, harmon, next door neighbor Neighbor & dad? Killing mole with shovel burned trash; ashes in knee; climb on mountain of trash slept on TWA flight to california grandma schrom aunt rosemary .wierd large walcek family; knew & played with kids from other large Catholic families emil, sleep in snow experiment, asthma, 1st car $19-exhaust thru floor &?-hid on next street-took alley & rode to st francis instead of 10 speed bikes john, exposed self to neighbor marsha, ladies man mary, marry-close, straight a's but d in hand writing rosie, dad cut hair like a boy, bowl over head teresa, skinny & wierd chris: big chief rain in the face; SIT? ed: happy baby ann: gymnastics 3 trees camp Me & John, trade nickels 4 dimes, Emil retreat audio & video Eat nose picking/toss with sonny (sp?) at Uncle Tony’s, "he'll put those damn niggers in place" adriane & red, war stories, blueberry home remedy 4 fever hit sisters in arm #72 from 2nd grade 10 years of catholic school Neil david-shy like me OLL: gradeschool; our lady of lourdes-bvm black veiled monsters-blessed virgin mary, Richard Iozio-short but long pointy shoes with cleates, Marsha? Worshipped from afar, fat legs/ankles senior football players ran school at St. Francis all boys school father principal (monks ran school) hid scissors 2 cut hair-mark barkowitz richard iozio, robert butler, mrs harris in wheelchair threw blackboard erasors orthodox wedding John driving '58 Ford, accident, egg sized head bump from hitting dashboard Nightmare sleep walking, parents: go back to bed Falling off homemade skateboard, hit head on pavement (concussion?) Garage door spring broken, dad propt up door with iron bar, sent me in through opening, door or bar fell onto me (head?), Dad yelled at me The three kittens sing: "one, two, three 3 little kittens are we, I'm black, I'm brown, I'm gray....we are as happy as we can be, oh boy, hurrah, hurray....etc..... especially when there is no one at home" 180# makes good trash compactor This Old man, song Karams, board game La Vina: Mrs Rheil, "hit me harder" CPT for COPD, Bronchosol & heated aerosol (HA), setup entire row of patients, met& showed Stefanie CPT UCSB dorms: John Thomson, Dennis, Lewis, coed dorms Loud music, Santana music "Oye Comp Va"? long blond parted hair, rich? Pantie raids Almost dying after mixing chemicals in swimming pool shed David Nelson running away from Blazer Yvonne cut wrist on bare wagon wheel East St. Louis tornado, dad showing us the devastation Dad: cut my fingers x2; mad when cutting finger nails Dad: bread & graveyard - poor man's steak Forgotten at Bob’s Big Boy, started to walk home, only had a nickel, waitress called home, even mom didn't miss me! I forgot about leaving Ed in Germany Green hats for ID in Europe Bats flying at night Low gears-brakes, dad, engine to slow down Steve Olds (father dealership), Steve xxx? (moldy rags, gay), Vickie Predmore (confronted me), Vickie Graul (crush on me), ran into orange groves Joey most important to raise Stefanie saved my life (CPR), Emanuel pulled me out of water, after I electrocuted myself assembling roof over doughboy pool with electric drill/screwdriver 1st date: walk on Santa Monica beach (Serra club) to Oar House Party with Stefanie, dancing; I left? Catching lizards, snakes, scorpions, spiders,etc with David & Jackie Nelson whose mother would freak out Hang gliding with???, friend of Greg Worthley? (lived with him & his girlfriend, Bill? & His girlfriend, Charlene), 1972? Trip towards S America with TJ (Terrance Williams, left in Mexico) in Chevy Blazer (1st purchased car) Cross country trips with Emil, John & Rick Sewell; then Ken Zisk in Datsun, which I bought from him for ($1,100?) Rick, who lived in back house, married Ronda Hannah 3 trees camp with dad, Emil, John, me & Jimmy (Balky?), John? cried & ran after dad, who threatened to leave us because of our behavior Launching rockets from cow paddies with Steve, John & (Lee?) Schrom, our (Emil, John & me) cross country trip squirrely the plastic squirrel living in Germany, triplex, next to Danish family-Lotta, Dotta & Mikel, dog hannibal (great dane) POP roller coaster 6 times, won free trip from new paper route subscribers, most new customers Keep arms & legs in the boat game on bed with covers Confession once a month-impure thoughts was all I'd confess most of the time Stimulate memories from 1 word Stefanie giggling at my trimmed moustache-misinterpreted laugh Impure thoughts-sin to confess? Dad-said Pati with smiley face x2 from Pati Duke show; twins played by same actress (B&W tv) 1st color TV, 1950s, dad liked technology Holding hands (affection?) with Leonard Belanger Soupy sales John falling out of tree in Tujunga; we were like monkeys John ran a bit faster than me Father influential europe via urail pass-travel at noc, different country each day cool water, dads record, singing along with record, still remembers song Clean white soap-shower Uncle Tony: governor Wallace will put those damn Niger's in their place spike jones records our recordings; emil liked cowboy games, wanted dead or alive (steve mcqueen), paladin, john wayne tv shows/westerns sleeping mats in kindergartin its howdy duty time drop sugar bags from restaurants from top of eiffel tower bugs in bread from cheap hotel in spain catching salamanders in bomb craters in germany crooked kinks in trees from bomb fragments rats as big as cats at dumping place in black forest found old knife in trash heap-Rusted, John still has? brain uses most blood flow, heart second earliest-charleston; dad yelling about bugs crawling on walls-dream? mom’s birthday May 10 (sometimes same as mother's day), close to mine, liked me best, bonded dad, keep limbs in boat-bed/blanket Dad, approached by gay on plane, said you can't procreate traveling is educational gin & vermouth, 1st drunk time, slept on patio-mom! gin & tonic, maya made; liked 1959 ford station wagon-cross country trip with emil, john & ric sewell rear axel vibration, ‘59 Ford, Dad obsessed? tujunga; 3 bedrooms & 9 kids e st louis, illinois farmland, harmon, next door neighbor Neighbor & dad? Killing mole with shovel burned trash; ashes in knee; climb on mountain of trash slept on TWA flight to california grandma schrom aunt rosemary .wierd large walcek family; knew & played with kids from other large Catholic families emil, sleep in snow experiment, asthma, 1st car $19-exhaust thru floor &?-hid on next street-took alley & rode to st francis instead of 10 speed bikes john, exposed self to neighbor marsha, ladies man mary, marry-close, straight a's but d in hand writing rosie, dad cut hair like a boy, bowl over head teresa, skinny & wierd chris: big chief rain in the face; SIT? ed: happy baby ann: gymnastics 3 trees camp Me & John, trade nickels 4 dimes, Emil retreat audio & video Eat nose picking/toss with sonny (sp?) at Uncle Tony’s, "he'll put those damn niggers in place" adriane & red, war stories, blueberry home remedy 4 fever hit sisters in arm #72 from 2nd grade 10 years of catholic school Neil david-shy like me OLL: gradeschool; our lady of lourdes-bvm black veiled monsters-blessed virgin mary, Richard Iozio-short but long pointy shoes with cleates, Marsha? Worshipped from afar, fat legs/ankles senior football players ran school at St. Francis all boys school father principal (monks ran school) hid scissors 2 cut hair-mark barkowitz richard iozio, robert butler, mrs harris in wheelchair threw blackboard erasors orthodox wedding finding 3 dimes after running across a busy street & jumping to the other side and after giving $0.30 to church Digging a hole to china in the backyard and dad filling it in with garbage Middle finger tank game Downloading anything and everything from eworld Camping near lake Erie where the mosquitoes were so thick that Rick and I slept inside the car and rolled the windows up to get away from the mosquitoes. Rick and I attempted to kill all the mosquitoes that were inside the car while John didn't seem to mind sleeping on a cot outside the car. We were awakened the next morning by a tapping on the window of the car by a park ranger who told us that we can't camp here because there's too many mosquitoes. After that Rick got very ill from what we presumed to be a mosquito bite. We went to the Canadian side of Niagara Falls where Rick and I climbed over the edge of the rails to be closer to the water so that we could put our hand in the water so John could take our picture. A park ranger told us that we had to come back up over the rails because it was illegal to be there. He said it was legal for us to commit suicide but it was against the law to be there because if somebody else saw us and had a heart attack. I don't remember much of the visiting with East coast relatives |